On the 9th of Ramadhan 1428/22nd September 2007, there goes my greatest man who I called 'dad'. I was just sleeping when all of a sudden there was a knock on my door from my brother in a sound of worried. I thought, he only wanted to borrow something but instead he said, "bapa inda keluar-keluar dari toilet. Ku katok, inda bejawab." I panicked and ran to the bathroom. I shouted, calling.. "dad! dad!" over and over again, still no reply. I asked my brother to look from thw window and he did and unexpected he said, "bapa pengsan." I saw tears and I was in a complete shocked. :(

We called mother and sister. After they've heard the news.. mom cried and sister tried to knocked down the door. As loud we were, there came my aunties from next door and so did my other brother. It took a long time to get the door down (oh, it was locked ofcourse) so i decided to climb up the window. I saw dad laying on the ground, I couldn't stare. I went fast as I could, opened the door and came sister doing her CPR with the help of abang Es. Abang Nami called the ambulance which took an effing long time to get through their line and for them to get here. Mom was in the TV room, with full of tears, shocked-ness and sadness. I went to calm her down, but it seemed what I was doing was only gonna make her cry more cause, I was crying with her.

All I did was prayed and prayed and prayed. Hoping that he'd be fine. That he's okay. I ran to the bathroom and there was the moment that i thought everything's not gonna be okay. I felt his pulse, there was no beat, not even a single beat. I heard sister saying.. "jangan ke sana pa. kami di sini. " I heard babu (my aunty) reading ayat-ayat Al-quran. Finally, ambulance came.

Kelyn and abang Es went with the ambulance. Mother and I followed abang Nami to the hospital. The doctors did they best. Dr. Wadi approached Kelyn and told her the news that I wished I could never hear! Seeing how kelyn reacted, that's the final moment that everything's gonna changed.

There it was, september 22nd 2007, around dawn. An UNEXPECTED incident. I lost an amazing dad. Who was completely healthy and even young looking. Who cared about me, who supported me in everything I do. My singing, my dance, my sports, my education. Who stayed up with me til' late night. Who gave me almost everything that I wanted. Who was cool enough to share my stories with him, cool enough to back me up from the teachers. cool enough to even know my secret.

He took care of me the way I wanted to be taken care of. Not only me, but the people i'm with. He respected my friends. He was friendly with my friends.

So today, it's suppose to be his birthday. 7th January, his 59th. I'll just pray for him;








How great he was as a grand dad. She was only a year and three months when dad left. This one was taken when Weeza was admitted to the hospital. Which was few weeks before dad left.

*I wish to upload the family photo and the ones mom with dad. But, I don't have it here in the laptop nor my phone nor the camera. I have all of these in the negative and the ones that has been printed*

I MISS YOU DAD! If only I could spend a little more time with you. IF ONLY.







May Allah rest dad's soul in peace. amin.




haaaa. i know, i rarely update my blog. & as Yean said, "pemalas" haha, yes. but, i just don't have the time to do this blog. i have so much to share. :( so sedih. hehh.

date 31.12.2007;

Happy new year 2008, everyone. what did you guys get to do?

well, i celebrated it at Empire. it was a last minute plan. at first, we had no idea where to go. so yeaah. hehh. i was sleeping over at tutong, at Nisa's a.k.a Naneng,, cousin saya. i went home at night. kelyn picked me up. we went picking up Yuny over at Kupang, cause me and Yuny wanted to celebrate our new year's together. :D so we went to my place around 9. met abg nami, cause abg nami and ka yatie wanted us to join them, so we did., abg es too.

i got home, relax for a while. then took a shower, got dressed up and we went out like around 11pm? yeah. we were stucked along jalan, was it tunkgu, rimba? errr, pokoknya there was a roadblocked kawasan sana atu. 15 mintues, stucked. =\ then, rushed up to empire arrived around 11.30. then, stucked lagi along jalan empire. =\ =\ bought the $30 tickets. parked the car at 11.40pm. we parked jauh. so, considerly 7 minutes walk from our car to the attrium.

finally, got to the empire's attrium approximately 11.50pm. haha. as we arrived, there we clowns and band's performing. the stage was nicee place to perform! :D not long after that, the countdown started from 20seconds. as it was midnight, they dropped tenths of balloons and there it was.. "HAPPY NEW YEAR". hugged everyone. :D :D

saw a lot of familiar faces. went outside to watched the fire works. the fire works were randoms. they could've done better. and thenn... raining! haha. the fire works stopped. and we went straight to the base. where the party is. :D looked around for a while then we to the dance floor! on the dance floor, i saw nazmo, fared and others that i couldn't recall their names. i'm sorry. :( so, kami dance. :D

fee told me the DJ's were, Dj felix and Dj Mirul. i don't know siapa them. but, they got some cool beats. :) speaking of fee, i didn't get to meet him masa new year. isssh. :( sedih. he was asked to spin arah rimba. pooo. =\

the party arah empire stopped around 1.30 or 2 am. so, we went outside. bumped into fakhrul, tegur-ed him and greeted him happy new year and asked him how he was. he's fine, ia cakap. heheh. and bumped into orang BP's; wajid, indra, baba, ahda, momoh and some people i tak kenal. hehe. oh! i met nunu and amanda masa arah base. :D they asked me to ikut them, but i didn't get the chance. i greeted nunu happy new year and the funny part was, i ter-salah greet arah amanda, i accidentally said "happy birthday." HAHAHHA. she corrected me by yelling "happy new year!" hahaha. xp xp

so, we planned where to go next. we went arah TK, ramai oraannggg. =s went arah semporna, juga penuh. =\ cruised around kiulap. kinda boring. we cruised around lah saja. then, decided to go home. reached home around 3.30am. called fee, asked him how was the party he went to.. he said, "okay jua lah" and he told me he was at TK, (i should've went there! =\) sama his brother, his brother's friends and ryna. so i decided to hang up. :( :(

yuny slept over at my house. we slept around 5ishish. we watched the new bring it on "in it to win it". the cheer moves were incredibly lawaaaaaa. :D :D but, how the movie goes was a little "errrrr." hehh.

kali kami sleep. :D


1.01.2008;

i just got back from the Royal Brunei Catering (RBC). i had my dinner there. my uncle's treat, it's his birthday today. yes, 1st January. :D lawaaaaa the date. the food was okayy. haha. oh this uncle of mine, the youngest uncle whom i call "Acai" has the resemblance with my late father. and i tell you, it's very sama. seriously. those who've seen my late father might think that it could be him. like, my cousin (my mother's side). when we were having the "makan 40 hari" she saw Acai and thought she seen my late father. haha.

i miss my father *al-fatihah.

before i went to the airport, i went out with my mother, abang es and kelyn. we went to $1.80 at Batu Satu. we went searching for waffles as the "campur" for this upcoming "makan 100 hari". it's going to be on thursday, 3rd January 2008, Tahlil and Berjemaah. :)

Oh my God! tomorrow is the first day of school! shiteyyyyyyy. :( gaaaah. i just hate the fact that i have to wake up eeaaarllyyyyyyyyy and jumpa some of the teachers that i wish not to see. but, i am eager to meet my friends, besties! i miss them, mannn. :( i'll see kamu esok. haha.

bah, im out. night!